Writer, Know Thyself

This weekend I've seen two pieces - one stage, one film - each of which dealt with an artist losing his creative way because of the demon drink. I caught the last matinee performance of 'The Country Girl' and that evening settled down on the sofa to watch 'Crazy Heart', eating pizza as I pondered that great unponderable:

For most of us, it may not be a cloud as heavy or penetrating as alcoholism but we all have to juggle not only the daily demands of life, family and work - but demons of our own. Everyone has one. Lack of confidence? Fear of success (or failure)? An inability to commit? 

The challenge we have here is that we may not even recognise these shortcomings in ourselves. How to deal with crippling shyness if you've always masked it with over weaning arrogance? When to tackle the sticky subject of your fondness for adverbs if you're blind to them in your text? How do you know you're being argumentative with an editor if you believe you're just enjoying a healthy debate?

Knowing yourself is possibly one of the greatest challenges a writer faces, and there are no easy routes to self-knowledge. Is this why some of the best writers arrive at publication later in life? Do we need experience before we can hope for a royalty cheque? That doesn't seem fair or even accurate - there are plenty of young, fresh talents out there being published and handling it all well. 

I suspect the answer lies in two things.

First, honesty. Be honest with yourself - look yourself in the mirror and face up to what's holding you back. Be honest with your agent - let her know what some of the challenges may be in representing you. (An inability to 'pitch' well or fear of public speaking? Nervie sweats or limited budget for travel to meetings? Your agent needs to know everything.) And I'll let you in to a secret. The ability to admit to failings? People love you for it.

Second, hard knocks. Yep, we all hate them - and we've all experienced them. Every writer has experienced rejection once at the very least and usually several times over. Most will have endured something that took the shine off different publishing experiences. But if you want to learn something about yourself, get through the tough times. I will guarantee you'll surprise yourself that - look! You coped! You'll have learned something about those close to you and you'll have soaked up valuable lessons about the industry you're becoming part of. Good friends and loyal professionals emerge from the most surprising corners of life. With honest words of their own, they'll help you plane smooth the sharp corners of your ego and become a better writer.

Okay, I'm going to add a third. The good times. We all have those too, remember? Do you share them or crush them to your chest? Do you shout your successes from the rooftops or celebrate quietly? Whichever path you choose, enjoy these moments and learn. Don't just indulge in them - take stock and see what they tell you about yourself. Because the good times can come with their own challenges. Blanket review coverage is good, right? Right...? Yeah, as long as you don't mind the occasional stinging review. Publication is an odd creature. If you're a control freak, you may not enjoy all aspects of it.

Nothing about this vocation is easy, but writer - know thyself. Because when success arrives at your door, you'll need a rock solid sense of who you are. (By 'success' I mean 'publication' - and not everyone may agree with this definition of writing - much more a vocation than a career.) Author tours, launch parties, online promotion, smiling faces and books to sign. Okay, if you're lucky you'll get all that - if you're really lucky. But even the sniff of this dream can turn a person's head. 

As Jeff Bridges sings in 'Crazy Heart':

'I used to be somebody, but now I am somebody else.

Who I'll be tomorrow is anybody's guess.'

Don't be somebody else. Be you. Otherwise it's curtains.